HOME SWEET GNOME

How far will a seller go to sell a house?

            Would you bludgeon your neighbor with a garden gnome in order to sell your home?  In a recent episode of the television show The Closer, it happened.  Here’s how it went down: Seller is having a tough time selling in this market.  Discovers that potential buyers are put off by the fact that a registered sex offender lives in the house behind the home that is being sold.   (Sex offenders are required to register – you can find where they live in Georgia at http://www.gbi.ga.gov/).  Seller knows that if the sexual offender dies, they are taken OFF the registry.  So Seller kills the offender with a large, heavy garden gnome, thus creating a fascinating hour long episode as The Closer attempts to figure it all out, and locates the dead body (the dead body must be found, you see, so that the registry is cleared).

            It is a tough market to sell a home, true, but for the record, we do not recommend such drastic measures (especially since that seller won’t be moving anywhere except to  the hoosegow anytime soon).  But here are some tips that are safer, legal, and better calculated to actually help sell your home:

GET RID OF THE GNOMES.  Seriously.  They are evil.  Ok, maybe they are not evil, but buyers generally do not think kitsch is cute.  You want buyers to envision themselves living in your home, and if they don’t like gnomes (really, does anyone really LIKE gnomes?) then it’s a turnoff. 

EVEN THE TINY GNOMES.  Seriously.  Those little tschoktes you have everywhere aren’t helping the sale of your home in the least.  Small items have another name – clutter – and you need to get rid of it in order to sell your home.  Most buyers are going to see your home online before they ever step in the door – and they will make the determination from an online review as to whether they even WANT to come in.  What seems “normal” to you while viewing a home looks cluttered on a smaller computer screen.  Just say NO to gnomes AND to nic-naks.

            We have many more tips for selling your home.  But wanted to get the word out right away about the gnomes – remove them before someone gets hurt.  And call us when you’re ready to sell!